[Reminiscences] The Day I Got Old

There are all sort of reminiscences/memories, good and bad. Special memories will have some sort of trigger, a smell, an image, a sound, a word, a touch. But the strongest triggers involve a contrast, something out of the ordinary from the daily mundane. The strongest memories will have an emotional component.

The following is from 20 years ago.

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The years 1999-2000 were full of fear. A new pandemic was on our door step - the Y2K Bug. But this was a potential bug in computer software, not the biological virus type.

For we in the IT industry, it was a very busy time But all the preparatory hard work paid off and The Bug was a bit of a fizzer.

The real 'pandemic' occurred in 2001. Businesses and governments had poured so much money in to Y2K mitigation, there was no budget left for forward work. So thousands of IT contractors were let go and there were no job vacancies.

So I joined the dole queues and pounded the pavement. But as a contractor, I was prepared for the economic ups and downs. The mortgage had been paid forward 12 months, I was in a good frame of mind, highly qualified and 30 years of experience - shouldn't be too hard to land something.

Six months in and 50 job applications rejected, it was mid winter, an icy blast was blowing in off the Southern Ocean. It was the middle of the day as I walked from the tram stop to my next appointment. I was walking past a big restaurant with a wall of windows. It was packed with businessmen sitting down to their expense account paid lunches and wine. It looked so bright and warm, and here was I out in the dark and cold. It was an unexpected emotion that hit me with the ferocity of the ice cold wind. I felt like Oliver with his begging cup.

The interview was with a very progressive company in which a predominance of women had risen in the ranks of management. As I was interviewed by a couple of women, I really felt like I was the token male interviewee that they had no intention of hiring. I guess I got a small taste of the discrimination many women encounter every day.

But it was at an interview at a public utility that ageism really struck home. The interviewer was a Project 'Manager' not much more than half my age, who really gave off a sense of "What are you doing here old man". I thought to myself, "What do you know you snotty nosed young upstart. I was programming numerical analysis in Applied Mathematics at university when you were still in nappies (diapers)".

But it was an interview with a recruitment agent that was the clincher. He showed no interest in my skills. He just went on complaining about the lack of jobs and the hundreds of applications he receives every day. He turned in his chair and pointed to a metre high pile of papers. "They're the resumes I've received this month" and proceeded to throw my resume on top of the heap.

So that's it I thought. Over the hill at 52 and chucked on the scrap heap.

But I still had some optimism and self belief. I taught myself web programming, developed my first web site, got stuck into genealogy research, extended our charity work and still kept plugging away with 2-3 job applications per week. Well it took 180 job applications over 21 months before I landed a meager job as a help desk operator. I was inspired to write the following summary:-

The 12 Days of Christmas

On the 12th day of Christmas, my Recruitment Consultant sent to me:-

• The 127th nil response;

• The 99th "Sorry, you don't have the right sort of experience";

• The 83rd "Sorry, you are too qualified";

• The 71st "Sorry, you are not sufficiently qualified";

• The 69th unanswered phone call;

• The 57th "Unfortunately our client has withdrawn this position";

• "With reference to your resume, when you say 'IQ 150', what does IQ stand for?";

• "With reference to your application for courier driver, unfortunately our client requires someone with 3 years experience driving 2002 model Holdens";

• "With reference to your application for voluntary work with the Salvation Army, unfortunately all positions are currently filled with Work-For-The-Dole people";

• "With reference to your application for a position as Santa Claus, unfortunately we only have a size 44 suit left";

• "With reference to your application for the cleaner position, unfortunately we require someone with SABCO broom experience";

• "With reference to your application for the position of stable muck raker, unfortunately there is no room at the inn".

Merry Christmas to all - you will understand if I don't send a card this year.  All invitations to lunch/drinks (your shout) gratefully received.

U. N. Employed