Life Isn't Meant to be Easy, for Any of Us

"The gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life"

Jesus, Matt.7:14

"Life is Suffering"

Buddha, "Four Noble Truths" (c.500BC)

"Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful"

George Bernard Shaw, "Back to Methuselah (1921)" 

"Life is Difficult"

M.Scott Peck, "The Road Less Travelled (1983)"

There are many variations on these thoughts, from 'Love', 'Happiness', 'Relationship', 'Service' or 'Faith' - all can be difficult to do/be/achieve successfully. Further, life difficulty is universal - never think you are alone in what-ever your particular difficulty is.

Like most negative declarations, there is an implied call to look at the positive behind them. The call is to transcend the difficult, to accept and take personal responsibility of over-coming. M. Scott Peck puts it this way, "It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters". "Life is a series of problems. Do we want to moan about them, or solve them?". Peck writes about the 'Disciplines', the tools for life's problem solving.

Be prepared to get you hands dirty. You need to dig-in a lot of manure to get a good crop of vegetables, or beautiful, scented flowers.

In the 'pursuit of happiness', all too often the emphasis is placed on the 'happiness' and not on the 'pursuit'. On assuming the result (happiness, etc) is your 'right' (without the pursuit, the struggles and the hard work), you open yourself to jealousy of those that have 'more' than you, and the perennial conflict of the 'haves' vs the 'have nots'. Further, you fall into the trap of singularity (MY happiness or lack there-of) and don't recognize the universality of life's difficulties. And as has happened throughout history, there is always a megalomaniac ready to feed their own ego and tell the 'have nots' that the 'haves' are the cause of all their problems or have 'stolen' from them. 

We are social animals, and the pursuit, the struggle, the hard work, is better as a shared activity. Life, love, happiness, relationship, service, faith are not meant to be solo achievements, but are best striven for, and enjoyed, in partnership, collectively, communally.

In these struggles and pursuits, 'nature' and 'nurture' (environment) play a big part. Some people find their pursuit 'easy', some find it hard due to environment or their birth-given (dis)abilities. This is why it is so important that our pursuits, struggles and problem solving are shared activities. Get expert professional help when needed. If we focus too much on environmental things that block our growth, we are often up against the immovable object which can lead to depression, or worse, giving up. By seeking assistance and sharing, we take our focus off the blockage and we have a better chance of creatively looking, possibly collectively, for work-arounds.

Whilst it can be helpful to be able to share with someone who has experienced the same issues as yourself, it is important to have a supporter that can lift you up. Too often, a 'support' group with poor leadership, ends up dragging all the group down.

If you do find the challenge 'easy', it just means that life has more/harder challenges for you, or better yet, to help someone else in their struggles.

It is also very important to NOT compare yourself to others. It's not a competition. Your happiness will be different from someone else's happiness. Your growth rate will be different from others.

Renowned neurosurgeon and CNN chief medical correspondent Dr Sanjay Gupta has just published a new book, "Keep Sharp: Build a better brain at any age". The key points he makes are:-

• Good nutrition is critical, both food and what you 'feed' your brain, reading, art, music, conversation, debate;

• Exercises, both physical and mental exercises, are essential. Vary them, mix them up;

• Be creative and contemplative, with variety;

• Socialize, support and buildup one-another;

• Find and use external support, a mentor, a counselor, medical advice;
  

(In detail, there is nothing new, but the concepts are presented in an attractive, easy readable and understandable way).

In conclusion, to quote my mother, "Stop and smell the roses"! Don't get locked into focusing on a single outcome. Enjoy the journey, the pursuit: "It can be delightful"!

Stop and Small the Roses